I am learning to go with the flow! I have a confession to make: I was a real control freak. I say ‘real’ control freak because I didn’t realise I was one. I did things with the best of intentions. I felt that I should be able to make sure everyone was happy and OK. I had unreal expectations of myself and situations and became frustrated if I couldn’t make things ‘right’. These irrational thoughts and perfectionist expectations led to high stress levels. But now I’m free and am stepping into stillness. So what have I stopped doing and surrendered in order to make these changes?
The changes have been relatively small but there has been a profound effect. I do less and yet my life flows more easily in what feels like the ‘right’ direction. I notice more and am able to take calm and yet inspired action when it is required.
I have had a few moments recently driving around the Watford area that have been chaotic and not at all harmonious. It has been difficult in these times not to get drawn into old styles of superstitious thinking and feeling like I am being bullied.
There have been lots of challenging moments this week for the family as a whole but at least I am able to recognise now that there are times to take specific action, times to stop and look after myself, wait for further guidance and that way I can reset to calm and stillness again. Then I am able to stay in the game and it is a much better way to help those that matter to me rather than stress myself out trying to ‘sort’ everything out for them.
I am able to enjoy life more and have richer experiences. I feel free!